When my four sons were little, I used to think they all had hearing problems because they were so freaking loud. But they didn’t. They were just LOUD.
Almost everything was shouted and I found myself saying, “Use your inside voice.” on an hourly basis. Sometimes I would say it not using my own inside voice, which the boys loved to point out.
Now that they’re all in high school and college, they’ve learned to modulate their volume, most of the time. However, they have a new form of deafness. Well, it’s actually more like blindness.
My boys are bathroom blind.
Every single time I go into their disgusting lavatory, I find myself muttering the following…
Do they not see it?
How on earth can they be in here and not throw up?
Seriously? What is wrong with them?
Do they need their eyes checked?
Nobody did it, of course. The elves came in and grossed up the whole place while they were sleeping.
When I ask them to clean it….
But too bad because this mom has gone on permanent boy bathroom strike.
I will no longer clean it. It’s their mess and their bathroom.
We were at a stalemate for a quite a while and I finally caved and offered $20 to whoever cleaned it…properly.
Enter my son, Jack.
I consider it a compromise. The bathroom gets cleaned and he earns money.
I’m not sure if this is a mom-fail or a mom-win. I’m sure there will be differing opinions but you know what they say…
Opinions are like assholes. Everyone as them and most of them stink.
Kind of like bathrooms and boys.